考试时，是否该有自信？

中学时，没自信导致自己错过很多想参加的活动。。。
中六时，好不容易有的自信让我勇敢的当上了乒乓主席。。。
中六毕业后，发自内心的自信，让我勇敢地见了几份工，还幸运地让我踏进的hsbc的职场。。。
大学生活开始后，内心的自信还是很高，但还是没参加到自己想要的aisec,因为怕时间不够用。。。
大学期间，我都对考试自信满满，但自己的愚蠢还是让自己遇到不少瓶颈。。。
为什么偏偏在考试时，我的脑袋就会跟内心的自信过意不去？我每次到最后的选择都是那让我发出自信的答案，但偏偏就是错误！！我是否不因该相信我的自信呢？话说我因该讨厌我所选的？啊，可恶！

开学的第一个星期

期待已久的开学，终于都来临了。。。
我所幻想的一切大学生活，
一切都被这无聊的MTM senior给败坏了，
那些头脑不知装什么的人士，
竟然会想要为了搞好关系而举行了一连串让人厌恶到不行的节目！

以认识我的人为名，
我不是一个酱容易被节目而感到厌恶的人，
竟然我都开口了，
你还有什么好讲。。。

刚开始，
我感到他们的热情，
到后来因为某种因素使到他们自己MTM的人不合，
说什么他们为了使我们感情更融洽而举行的活动，
搞到他们还没放完假就回来准备一切，
一切都是为了我们，
还说我们不领情！
到后来他们竟然演戏，
表演了一场“好兄弟打骂架”，
当场还哭了！！！！

我说，
天啊，到底是谁想出，
“拿签名以认识对方的环节”
这种的虚假的认识环节，
是人的都不会认同的！

最让人愤怒的是，
他们演戏后，
直说是我们弄到他们兄弟，
整个MTM的人不合，
还要我们说道歉！！

当晚，
我忍不住流泪了，
不是因为感到歉意，
而是因为自尊被切底伤害了，
我从小到大，
从来没有低声下气的跟人道歉，
跟人道歉还不要紧，
但尽然还要道个连你自己也不知犯了什么错的歉。。。

这到底是什么的世界啊，
大学生竟然会想出用酱幼稚认识方式来认识对方。。。

Economy course

相似命中注定似的，
老天分派了经济系给我，
让我想当一位会计师的梦想，
切底的梦碎。。。


有些人建议我上大学后，
把他换掉，
换掉真的有那么简单吗？


而，
亲戚们都说经济系好过会计，
也不用读到酱辛苦，
这种说法是否正确呢？


这期间正的有点烦恼，
真的可以对这一课切底的感兴趣吗？
我的选择是否对的呢？


就算老天真的分派给我会计，
我是否就不会像现在那样苦恼呢？


。。。。。。。。。。。。。

Goodbye my lovely Gye Gye

今天早上大概10点，老天已把已经挣扎了几天的小gye带走了。。。

虽然，我们相处的时间不到两年，但它的出现已让我度过了美好快乐的每一天，也在我心中霸占了重要的地位。。。

现在，屋里的每个角落仿佛的都幻有它那调皮，可爱，又有点寂寞的影子。。。

臭小gye,你怎么就不道而别呢~让我想死你了。。。

再见了，小gyegye,你永远都是我最爱的小gye...

当小丑遇见法官

法官与小丑真的就不能好好的沟通吗？
做事认真又严肃的法官;
爱玩又缺乏认真的小丑;
两人何时能够慢慢的，静静地，好好谈谈，互相了解。。。
但是，他们就算真样谈得来，
那里总会有一面又大又坚固的墙阻着了想让友情跟进一步的两人。。。
因为两人总是站在不同的观点和理论，
固执的心理，
使两人无法沟通。。。 


没时间和机会让他人解释的法官，
不到一秒，就把他宣判死刑，无言；
总是想用玩笑方式让人快乐的小丑，
因为用错词和方式而引起了误会。。。


这绝不是法官的错，
因为他有他的想法，
自己的原则，
由于是地位的关系，
他总以为自己的知识广泛，
为自己为傲，
无语。。。


这也不能把错指责小丑，
因为正当他想把他的观点加以说明时，
别人可是觉得他不是认真的，
但一个人的知识，
可不能因为地位和样貌而给于结论，

他很多时候可能看得比法官还远，
悲哀。。。


法官何时才能脱下假发，
以宽厚的心胸，
去接受别人的看法；


小丑何时才能卸下雪白浓厚的妆，
脱下红色的大鼻子，
以认真的形态去面对他人？


也许他们之间就少了理解，
因为他们只是以表面上的认识，
其实，
一点都不了解对方，
可能连机会让对方解释也互不相让。。。


看着俩人的背影，
默默地想，
他们之间的裂痕，
是否还有余地呢？


人嘛，
就是要活得快乐，
这才称得上人生，
千万不要以烦恼为借口，
而毁了人生。。。


-光明日报

“两张”的生日

今天终于迎来我人生中二十岁的生日，真是兴奋又伤心。。。
兴奋的是，我终于长大了（虽然只有外表）。。。
伤心的是，又老了一岁（唉）。。。


今天还真是有点感动，因为有朋友一大清早就sms来祝贺我，真是谢谢她没忘记我的生日，也因为她，让我忘了生日的寂寞感，真的非常感谢你啊，ah leng~~~


最近，看了几本很有意识的小说（虽然也不算很多），发现里面的主角（虽然像配角）的人生很像我现在的人生，也就是：
1. 常被忽略
2. 常被遗忘
3. 长得平凡
4. 倒霉


唉，真是悲哀呀~~~~


但生日还是要过的阿，所以我今年的生日愿望是：
1. 在STPM成绩放榜时，能够榜上有名
2. 头发不要再掉了
3. 父母健健康康的，过得开兴，不要吵架

迷茫的前途

一次又一次的失败，

一次又一次的失落，

一次又一次的打击，

一次又一次的悲伤，

一次又一次的伤痛，

到底何时才能停止。。。

常对自己说努力过了，就算了吧。。

那是骗人的。。。

自己心情，怎样都摆脱不那份失落，

当然，可能，也许，

会有一天会忘了它，

但那会是何时呢？

在朋友面前可能会暂时性地把它忘掉，

但然后呢？

到头来也会一个人默默的想回它，

就算不想它，

它也会自己漂浮在脑海中，

这简直就是个恶梦！

怎么了？

我到底是怎么了？

明明它是我最有把握的一科，

为什么偏偏就不让我得逞？

明明‘A'就在我面前，

为什么明明会做，

还错误百出。。。。

不行，不行，不行！！

淑沁，

希望还是有的，

到死都不能放弃，

那科可是你的梦想啊，

你的未来，

你的前途，

你的工作，

你的饭碗，

都靠它了！

加油！加油！加油！！

你行的！！！！！！！

老天，您不是那样见死不救吧？

Is Coming~~~~~~

Still have 3 days more, STPM. It finally came, I feel like nervous and excited since it is a biggest challenge in my school life. So now, what can do is pray hard and study hard to achieve my target. Gambateh!!!!! You can do it!!!!

Sorrow

A small little girl hit by two car, should we lend a hand to help her? This question has draw an attention of the world to the community of China nowadays. China, is a advanced country. But the humanity that consist in China can be described as ''Sakai''. It is a very sad story. How come they can act like that as they are ''consider'' as a human. Maybe the animal are more even better than the community of China nowadays.Through the poisoning food, toys, and etc, we can see the true humanity of the China nowadays. Haiz, sad for the little girl and the depravity of humanity of China. Cruel and hate China's people!!!!!!

Comic and I

I facing a big big problem recently which is I addicted in my lovely comic again. It made me very headache because I cant get concentration in  my study. Arhhhhh~~~~! But it is not my comic's fault because its cool and interesting story line had made me walk inside it's world.hehe~~~The comic's name is 'Reborn Hitman'. The main character of this comic is a very handsome guy. You will get interested with him too after seeing his picture. hahahhaha~~~

Lost

I feel like I lost in my world. It is lonely, cool, helpless and darkness. I want go out....I not suppose to be here. I suppose be in a happy and no stress's world. But I am not. Every time I laugh with my friend, I feel like empty. How can I have a feeling like that? How come? It is not my real characteristic. I dont want this lonely world.I   now just like a lonely and helpless child. I want go out....help....someone....anyone.....who can lend me a hand?Unfortunately, no one can hear and understand it. It is just helpless......

countdown STPM

STPM is just around the corner now, still got 59 days to go. The trial had passed for one and a half week. Most of the teacher had finished marked now and start giving back. Haiz~very sad to say, my result is still not the result that i aim to, especially Mikroeconomy and business. I felt very fluctuated.
''Am i really can get my target in the real STPM?'' this question always appear in my mind. I really need it (the target), it is important for me to protect my dignity. My cousin who study together with me had get the result which is closed to the A. Sometime i'm really envy on her. Envy on her powered mind to memories all the thing and also lucky. Maybe is my fault that made my result like that. All the fault is because of lazy. The different between she and me are the heart to study and the mind to concentrate. This is the judgement to me and i need to face it.
Short to say, pray more God and study much~work hard to get the targets!!!
I believe I can do it!See then!!

Brutal people- WUA 6919,black, Toyota Vios's stupid owners

Today is my most angry day in my early life. I had met two stupid brutal people that i feel like want to punch them! The situation is like this....

Today i went to Jingjang market in the morning with my mom and my sister. I drove the car today and i went to the parking lot to find a car park to place my car. Due to reason that today is Sunday so there was many people went to market there to buy things and of course hard to find a parking lot. So, we have to wait people who wan to left the place. wait lo....wait lo....wait lo....

We had wait for about 8 minutes, then finally there was a woman who want to get her car to left. Fortunately, her car was just beside our car. Then we thought that we finally get a parking place and can go out of the car then can enjoy our breakfast. But, Im wrong. There was a new comer car had just wait for a few second at the back!When i try to reverse back my car, the man just hon me!!!!!!!! What the hell!! According to rule, we should be the one who can first park the place since we are waited longer. So, my mom go out and discussed with them lo. But the stupid brutal 40 age above couple claimed that they had followed the woman to take her car and they scored my mom back said that we ''snatch'' their parking place!!
What a stupid reason! the road at the car park there is very zai and sempit, how they followed her? CRAZY!
Then no choice i ask my mom to go back to the car and wait another parking lo. Then u guess what happened next? The brutal man take out his handphone and take the picture of my car number!!!!!!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~
At the moment, i really angry and feel want to go down and punch at him!!!!!
What kind of people like him o? 'Snatch' people's car park and made the situation that we are the wrong one!!!!!! What the hell!!!!!Eeeeeeeeee~~~~~Damn shit!
So, if u all see this car: Toyota Vios, black colour and the number WUA 6919 please help me 割划 his car if u can(just a joke, but wish to) or at least curse them!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe u will think that im bad, but if u really faces this situation, u have no choice, u cannot do anything to them. Cant u kill them also~Just on this wall release my stress only....please stand at my side when u read it! haha

Hair cut

Today i had cut my hair at one of the salon at Mutiara. Actually i had gone by tomorrow because i had to wait my sister until 4p.m. But yesterday the man that i want to help me cut my hair absent. This is the first time the i order people to help me cut my hair. haha~ Of course im scared to ask the worker there. So you know yesterday what am i said to the worker? I said, '' i heard from my friend that got one guy called Ken in your salon that very well in cutting hair...'' It is normal to heard people said like that because we really need his well hand and service. But, the question is the people who cut my hair before was sit beside the worker that i asked question. It heard funny when i realised after that. haha~However, it is good because the man is not really good at cutting and wasted money that time. Hope that he knows that he is not good enough and need to improve himself!

Talk back to my hair. Now my hair had become shorter and thinner. And my big face looked bigger...==
But i like it because i have no choice to choose. My face~~haiz~~eventhough i hate it but speechless....><

Pessimist

I admit that I am a pessimist. I always feel useless in doing thing and scared that people will comment on those thing which i had done. Very funny thing is when somebody comment bad thing on me and i will hate him/her and not talking to he/she for a period. This is my bad personality.hehe~~


Remember one time, my account teacher was talking to my friend about R&D report. When they were discussing and thinking on how to solve a problem that they faced in the report, i appeared in front of them (because i am one of the member). Then, of course, I had to give out my idea to help them solve the problem but my idea was out...and teacher had said one sentences that i wouldnt forget it in my whole life....'' You thought you are so clever to solve the problem'' ! At that movement, i was blank....
I hate myself in that time. Why i am so stupid to give out the idea on that time? But i am one of the member, and i  just try to help. Maybe is my fault to give out the idea with no permission of her. Now, i am scared to give out my idea again especially in all the class... haiz~><


''Is it my punishment to have a haughty face?'' I always ask the God. 
When i am quiet, i looked like i'm angry and conceited ;
When i am noisy, i looked like crazy.
Then what should i do? Become quiet or noisy?
Remember last saturday, a friend told me that i looked conceited when quiet. Even the teacher himself, I can feel that he sees me with different eye sight. 
I swear that i am not that kind of person. This kind of person is not suitable for my personality. The personality that appear inside of me is cheer and happy even sometime i am stressing with problem. And i admit that i am a good laughing person. Even one small funny point i also will laugh until stomach pain.
So, gambateh~I will try to make my face expression change to normal face!
and i would like to announce to anybody that 
'' I AM NOT HAUGHTY! I SWEAR! and dont look at me with the expression again! ''

Weird

haha and yo~~~ today is my first time writing blog.
It is weird because people like me also will create a blog.haha.
Unbelievable and awesome!!!
It means everything of the world can change even man's personality like me, haha~~
So as a human, we must always updated ourself to make that we are not left behind.....